Reality.... STINKS!

Salam, Aloha, How you doing?!

It has been a very long time since I have been here and I have been thinking about blogging for the past few days. The thought of being able to blog was giving me some relief, I mean so much has happened in the months that have passed that I think my soul really needs this....

It has been almost 1 year since I have left the work place and I honestly don't think that so much could happen in life. I mean, maybe I was a little caught up in the 'working' field that didn't have much time to focus on the real world but sheesh.... What a place it is! Reality isn't always pleasant but I suppose we don't have much of a choice other than to solider on.

Before a calamity hits a person, you always think there is no way that I could be able to handle that. Death, illness, mishap... You just think ohhh that poor person how could they handle this? In a naive kind of way you think that stuff happens to other families, Allah give them strength, but REALITY is.... No one is safe!

Almost 6 years ago, we lost our brother Mohamad. Whoever thought that I could be so strong to talk about it now. He was a beautiful soul. Never harmed anyone, helped where he could, had a wacky sense of humour (well being an Abdallah & all) and was just a pretty special lad. We knew that Allah wanted him back. Who thought we as a family we could overcome this? We, us, ME could handle a death in the family? Thinking about it gives me a bit of anxiety but look.. It has happened. We are still here years on, different roles, marriages, houses, jobs... But still here. Life doesn't stop supposedly but I know that the heart is never the same. 

After his death, much change took place in our family. There were divorces, marriages, new additions, dramas, excitement... I think his death gave us strength that we aren't here for a long time (as death has no age) and to ensure we did what was right for ourselves.... I would have never thought of it at the time but now I can reflect and believe through this tragedy was some positiveness! I know Allah knows best & he we aren't given a calamity we can't handle so we work with what we have!

The last 10 months have been little full on and well lets just say not the happiest times. We have had some bad news in relation to dads health. He has an incurable illness and had/s to go through different treatment plans. It has been hard to see dad through this, but by the will of Allah he is a fighter. Our religion tells us that the smallest of pain (prick of a thorn even) is an expedition of ones sins. I personally would want to continue this pain & discomfort than suffer in the hereafter!

So, a death & coming to know your father has an incurable illness is pretty full on but more recently - July 25, 2012 we also lost our eldest brother, Yehya (Big Al)! He was the eldest of 6, 50 years of age and again one of the most awesome humans possible. Again, Allah wanted him back. Allah brings you into this world as He wills and takes you as He wills. 

The death of Big Al was a bit of a shock, well that is a lie.... a HUGE shock. The way I came to learn of his death was really ugly and those flashbacks are in my mind all the time. I still feel that I am in denial at times. Big Al had a bit of heart issue. He suffered 2 heart attacks, but even though he had this condition he wasn't SICK if that makes sense? This is still very fresh, even though it has been 6 odd weeks I still feel really strange about it all. I think this is the thing that bothers me the most. I am sad, don't get me wrong. I miss him terribly but I am a little numb about it all. Something tells me he is at ease now (insha'Allah) and gives me a bit of tranquility. He died in the blessed month of Ramadan which I believe is a mercy from Allah. Not only are the gates of Hellfire closed (May Allah grant us Jannah) but we are all in the zone and our faith levels are where they need to be!

I didn't see Big Al as much as I should have, but he knew how much I loved him. This is the joys of being a person of showing their feelings! We all get caught up in this pathetic world that prevents us from doing the things we SHOULD be doing. Is this bothering me the most? I honestly don't know.. I am pissed that I can't pin point how I feel. I can't even explain to people how I coped with it all. Do I get angry at myself for not being in tune with my emotions? Perhaps Allah is making it easy for me? Who knows and I probably never will but I had to get it off my chest!

I think today is probably my weakest day since his death. Big Al, worked at Mr M's school and today I was there for a P&C meeting. This is where I saw him most of the time. I just imagined that he would be there today. Expected to see him out the front talking to the other lads... Expected him to come and take Miss A and walk her around the school. I kept it strong but all I wanted to do was cry! There was also talks of an event that could take place that would involve the family and well picturing this event without him made me ill to my stomach! The pic wasn't pretty and well since then.. I've been on the flat. Wishing I spoke to him more often, wishing that we hung out more, wishing that the hurt my parents are suffering eases, wishing his children all the happiness in the world... I mean, to be honest... Today I am messed NUT!

Big Al/Mo - I miss you brothers! I can only hold onto the memories (and the one liners you both had :)) and pray that you are both at ease. I ask Allah to continue to gives us peace in our hearts and allow us to meet with our families in Jannah. I ask that Allah has mercy on the deceased and mercy on us. AMEEN!

Love Love

Mxx

*huge sigh of relief*

 

Mini Me!!

Ohh, it feels good to be able to sit down and blog! Life has been a little busy the past couple of weeks. Had an unwell Miss A - joys of teething. She had an ear infection and was literally stuck to my hip. At the same time, I have no idea how, but I put my back out. I mean, why not... Nothing like looking after an unwell baby when you can barely move!! All this why trying to set up our wonderful little business - Modest Jewels. It was full on but insha'Allah we are on the mend.



Mr M has been my support lately. Growing into a young man. Soccer has been the flavour of the month and he has been putting in 100%. We bought him a professional football and he has been practicing non stop. He spends an additional 30 mins at the field with my brother after training, which I guess gives him that little bit more. His skills & concept of the game have really improved and as you can tell, I am proud as punch! People tell me, he is so much like me but until I analyse him in detail at times I can't see it. Read on for one of those times.... 


We were at a game on Saturday and the coach (who is SUPER may I add - his patience is unbelievable) was having a pep talk to the team. "OK boys & girls, we need to do more tackling, more passing and really have fun." He then talks to one of the key players on the team (who I have named the little Maradona!) and says "you need to pass the ball to your team mates buddy. I don't want you to score goals but help your friends in getting a goal." This was after this young lad had scored over 5 or 6 goals - I stopped counting. Then, up jumps Mr M and says, "coach, why would you tell him to stop scoring? It is because of him we are winning, we need to tell him to score more!" Coach replies, "Mr M, its not about winning or losing - it's about having fun and everyone getting a turn." Mr M responds, "That's not true coach, we need to play and win. We have to be good at everything we do. We have to be on top!" OK, so that was when I put my head down whilst smirking and out of the corner of my eye I can see the coach staring at me!! I could only respond by saying, "His mothers son?"


I am not sure if I was proud or embarrassed. Proud that he listens to me and the fact he wants to be successful but embarrassed that I don't encourage him just to have fun? I mean, I do but at the end of the day it is a game right? A game is made for winning? I have always been extremely competitive and want to be successful so would love for my children to have the same thought? Either way, expectations have been set and are very achievable. It's good to have goals right?? He has received an award a week at school since back this term & yesterday I received an 'encouragement letter' from school telling me of his key strengths.. You rock my world muffin!!


The more and more I see him interact and grow the more I see me in him.. Some my say O.M.G, but I think, how better is the world going to be???

Keep safe & don't forget to check out Modest Jewels.


Peace out..
Mx

Modest Jewels....

As I have mentioned previously, my ultimate goal is to set myself up with a business opportunity that will make me the millions (muhaha). No really, just something that will stay in the family for a while and keep us all busy and entertained. That business venture has yet to surface so in the meantime I have decided on something a little smaller but just as exciting.

Let me introduce to you - "Modest Jewels- Clothing & Accessories for the precious woman". Corny? We thought it was cute... !! (pls excuse shot of business card, best I could get it!)

Modest Jewels is a small online based business where we will try and provide you reasonably priced and stylish clothing. We also stock Islamic headwear, shoes & vintage accessories. Considering that I am an internet shopping junkie, it just felt right. 

This week was the first week we really kicked off. I joined forces with my niece and we are determined to give this a good run for its money. We have been designing styles, meeting suppliers and just preparing everything that is required to run our home business. 

It feels great to be back doing business. Even though it has just taken off, but the adrenalin has definitely kicked in. I have never been a huge fan of marketing, cause usually my skills sold themselves (true!) but I am liking it right now. It is something different for me and I really think this is going to take off!

We have our first open day/session happening on Monday and I can't wait to meet some new ladies. Really, have always been one to help others so am looking forward to styling some of these women and bring out the Jewel in them (get it?).

I am stressing out a little though as I have to ensure that my SAHM duties are also completed, but that is the beauty of working your own hours - I will just have to re-write my routine. That's ok, I have done it gazzillion times this year, one more time won't hurt.

Perhaps our label could be the next on the catwalk...? Anything is possible. Feel free to get your autographs now... They could be famous in the coming years!

Be sure to like our page on Facebook (Modest Jewels) and check out our range. I will be more than happy to assist you in anyway.... Would you like fries with that??

Take it easy and may the jewel be with you!!

Love

Mx

To Fox or not to Fox?

I am currently going through the dilemma on whether or not I stop our subscription to Foxtel. 

Don't get me wrong, Fox has been great to me. The fact I can record my shows and watch them when the children are asleep gets me excited and makes me feel human but..... I have to sit back and think of the return on investment. 

Now that we are on one income, one must be a little smarter with how they spend their money - I want that dream home right? There are many things I can justify, but I just can't seem to do it with Fox. Yes, I watch my shows maybe 1-2 hours a day but most of that is recorded 'free to air channels'. I love the fact that I can fast forward the ads but does this justify $105 per month?

When you become a SHM (stay home mum), you are suppose to be up to date with the latest soap dramas, reality tv shows... right? I so wouldn't be a cool mum if I didn't know the latest on Jerseylicious or the 'Real Housewives of BH"???

I'm battling within myself, husband insists that it is pointless considering there are so many channels on free to air TV (which mind you, I had a digital antenna installed just in case I decided to flick the switch on Fox) and that such a small portion of our day is in front of the tele. Mr M is only allowed 30-45 mins a day after school and even he has lost interest in 'Dora' & 'Cat in the Hat!'. Miss A is still oblivious to it all and even if she wasn't, Playschool is on ABC!

Perhaps no Fox will get me more motivated to hit my 'I must accomplish' list quicker? Means I might not have any late night snacks with my tea whilst watching my recorded shows? Hmmmm.... I am tossing and turning.

I ask you... To Fox or not to Fox?

Mx

Greener Grass?

Settling into this stay home mother/full time housewife role, it was time for me to branch a little further & start to expand my network. So finally, I took the plunge and had a morning coffee with some of the mothers from Mr M's school. I mean, I see them most mornings and afternoons so was able to get to know them a little so it was natural that this be the next step.

Off we trotted to the local McDonalds - don't be critical, it's just around the corner and seemed to be the right place. Have you checked out Maccas coffee lately? It was quite nice. Perhaps I've just lost my coffee palate?

Anywho, this coffee session was extremely refreshing. Not only was it something different but it was nice to hear about their lives, ways they handle things and really just a general catch up getting to know each other that little bit more.

After a few jokes and some conversations that shouldn't be repeated, we noticed a young lady sitting behind us. Young business like woman, sitting on her laptop. Earphones to her ears busily typing away - well so we thought. It brought back many memories for me. I use to be that woman (perhaps not at Maccas) but definitely in a coffee shop. Scheduling meetings, customer follow ups, scheduling time for shoe shopping...... ohhhhh!

Since we were a little giggly and perhaps loud (4 women trying to get a few words in) it was only polite to turn around and apologise. To our surprise this lass was eager to have a chat with us... As she joins our conversation, she throws in "oh I'd do anything to be in your shoes." Don't wish to hard muffin, cause I did the same thing all those years ago and wallaaa.... here I am!

Of course I have no regrets and I love my new role of having maccas coffee dates then to rush home only to cook, clean and prepare for the after school activities and to respond to the yells and screams..... But back then, grass always seemed greener on the other side....

Keep Safe

Mx

What's cooking today?

To continue with the new found love & passion of cooking, a friend & I have created a new page on Facebook - "What's cooking today."

This page stemmed from dilemma and seeking ideas to create my 14 day menu and how easy would it be if you were just stuck on what to cook for the day? We all live such busy lifestyles that it would be awesome to be able to grab a recipe in one click!

This Facebook page will include all sorts of recipes, easy ones, more challenging ones and creative meals. We will have them sorted into segments; beef dishes, chicken dishes, fish dishes, vegetarian dishes, desserts etc so I am hoping it will appeal to all palates. 

Be sure to add this page & share with us some cool recipes that you think others will benefit from.

I personally can't wait to see some of these recipes, I will definitely share my attempts and hopefully positive outcomes with you all!

Hit LIKE now...

Love Love 

Mx

Humbled... Thank Allah!

Back to religion class yesterday and honestly, the inner peace I gain from these classes is phenomenal. May Allah bless our teacher who endures much patience to put up with us all. Her knowledge is amazing, may she be rewarded for sharing this & allowing us to become better Muslims.

After the lesson, which is in two segments; one about the life of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and the other segment is about 'life after life', off I go to share my new found knowledge with my husband. Mind you, thank Allah he is rather educated and can add a little more to it to give me that extra knowledge. So with my 'I think I'm cool hat' on, I relay my learnings. We speak about our Prophet (pbuh) and the characteristics he possessed and all of a sudden I become extremely teary. As we know, it doesn't take me much to shed a tear or two but when it comes to religion it just seems to be that much deeper. Why was I teary? Not only because I want to be a better Muslim but because of two other reasons. One, a story my husband was telling me. Without going into detail (in case I get it wrong and that ain't a good thing) but the meaning to this story was the love the Prophet (pbuh) is unbelievable. I quote from my husband "Your mother does not love you a third of what the Prophet (pbuh) does." I mean, what?! This noble, humble, pious man has love for all of his people. He didn't want to die until he received confirmation from Allah (swt) that he will look after his people (ummah). How unselfish is that? These days, no one wishes well upon their own sibling/friend let alone the whole ummah!

The 2nd was a statement made by our teacher, "No calamity you are faced with will compare to the calamities that the Prophet (pbuh) was faced with." Can you believe this? Here we are crying over the fact we can't afford that lavish car or house yet this noble man suffered more than we can imagine and never lost faith!

This truly hit home with me. More so because I am a mother and have extreme love for my 2 children and I hear it is not a third of the love this great man has for us. The only man that will vouch for us on the day of judgement. Every other person will be seeking forgiveness for themselves and the greatest man to live will seek Paradise for you. Truly, it humbled me. Humbled me to become a better Muslim. To do everything for the sake of Allah.

This may not relate to all of my readers, but if only I could inspire you to research this great prophet (pbuh) and let's start acting the way he did. Let us implement some of his character and what a beautiful place the world will become!

I am very pleased to be obtaining such knowledge and hoping it makes me a better Muslim to get me to a better life after this life!!

Loving you all for the sake of Allah 

M x